Adult Humor Picture - Mushroom

For Heaven's Sake

Will someone tell her ,

It's a mushroom !

Really funny jokes-The dying Priest

The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years, he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital in Washington D.C. He motioned for his nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse
"I would really like to see President Bill and Senator Hillary Clinton before I die," whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to the Senate and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived; the Clintons would be delighted to visit the priest.
As they went to the hospital, Hillary commented to Bill, "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it certainly will help our images and might even get me elected President. After all, I'm IN IT TO WIN IT."
Bill agreed--it was a very good thing for her campaign once they put out a press release about it.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the old priest took Bill's hand in his right hand and Hillary's hand in his left.
There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face. Finally Bill Clinton spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you
near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
"Amen" said Bill.
"Amen" said Hillary.
The old priest continued...
"He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same."

Humor jokes-Never had an argument

A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. "We were married twenty-five years before he died," she said, dabbing away a tear. "Never had an argument in all those years."
"Amazing," said the councelor. "How did you do it?"
"I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward."

Really funny jokes-Role reversal

Although this married couple enjoyed their luxury fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency.
So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, "Please take the wheel, dear. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore."
So she drove the boat to shore. Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was watching television.
She sat down next to him, switched the TV channel, and said to him, "Please go into the kitchen, dear. Pretend I'm having a heart attack. You must set the table, cook the dinner, and wash the dishes."

Office jokes-Proper Dress Code

A recent college graduate got hired by the human-development center of a large corporation to train the employees in proper dress code and etiquette.
One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man who was casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her.
"Dressed a little casually today, aren't we?" she said in a scolding tone.
"That's one of the benefits of owning the company," the man replied with a grin.

Sardar joke - Santa banta fishing

santa singh & banta singh rented a boat and fished in a lake every day.

One day they had a huge haul of 30 fish. santa said to banta.

"There's lots of fish here! Mark this spot so that we can come here

tomorrow." The next day when they were driving to rent the boat,

santa asked banta , "Did you mark that spot?" banta replied,

"Yeah, I put a big X on the bottom of the boat!" santa said, "You fool! What if we dont get that same boat today!?!?"

Funny jokes-Smart ass

The waitress was waiting as patiently as she could while the guy was dawdling over the breakfast menu. He says, being a smart ass, "I usually never return to a restaurant unless one of the sausages I'm served with my eggs is a match in size for my own."
The waitress replied, "In that case, sir, perhaps you should be looking at the children's menu."