Hilarious jokes-What kind of pepper?

Monsieur Pierre was staying in a hotel in Mexico.

He called room service and said, "I need pepper."

The attendant asked, "Black pepper, or chilli pepper?"

Monsieur Pierre yelled, "Toilette pepper!"

Elevator jobs

Bubba, an electrical technician, was out of work.

His friend suggested he take up some elevator jobs in new constructions close by.

Bubba said, "Nope, I don't do elevator jobs."

"Why??" the friend asked.

Bubba replied, "I don't know the route."

The smart carpenter

Andy, a carpenter by profession, had witnessed an accident and was summoned to court to give evidence.

The defendant's lawyer tried to discredit him by asking several tricky questions. One of the questions was, "How far were you from the accident site?"

Andy replied, "Thirty one feet, three and a half inches."

The lawyer asked, "What???! How can you be so sure and precise about that distance?"

Andy said, "Well, I knew sooner or later someone stupid would ask me. So I measured it!"

A busy MBA student

Betty, who was pursuing her MBA in Finance at Harvard, had become too busy with her studies, classes, projects and part-time job.

She realized how long she had been out of touch with her parents when she received the following e-mail from her mother:

"Dear Betty, your father and I enjoyed your last e-mail. Of course, we were much younger then, and more impressionable. Love, Mom."

Funny jokes-Unique birthday gift

Joe, a billionaire, was in a dilemma. His wife's birthday was approaching and he didn't have a clue what to gift her. There was nothing that she didn't already have.

So, when he shared his problem with a friend, the friend suggested, "I have a great idea. You can prepare a certificate for her which declares she can have three hours of great love making, and in any manner she likes. She should be delighted!"

Joe followed his friend's advise. The next day, when Joe met his friend, his buddy asked, "So, did you take my advice? How did it go? Did you have fun?"

Joe replied, "Oh, she loved it. She was ecstatic, couldn't thank me enough - she kissed me, and ran out of the house, shouting, "I will be back in three hours!"

The wise king's decision

Two women approach the King of Persia, dragging between them a young man called Arya.

"This young man promised to marry my daughter," said one of the women.

"No! Arya agreed to marry my daughter," said the other woman.

The two women kept on arguing in front of the King, until he called for silence.

The king announced, "I have a solution to your problem. I will cut this young man into two pieces with my sword. You will both receive a half."

"I am fine with the idea," said the first woman. But the other woman cried, "Oh King, please do not kill this man. Let the other woman have him and marry him to her daughter."

The wise king had taken his decision. He announced, "This young man, Arya must marry the daughter of the first lady."

"But that's unfair!" exclaimed the court.

The wise King said,"As she was willing to see the young man cut in two, it proves she is indeed the TRUE mother-in-law!"

The crash landing

Jerry, the test pilot in the Air Force, climbs out of the experimental plane, all bruised and battered. The wings and tail of the plane are torn off in the crash landing. The rescue team arrives, and one of the rescuers, seeing Jerry in a bloody mess, asks him,"What happened?"

Jerry, looking very pale, replies, "I don't know, I just got here myself!"