The car

A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication for her daughter.

When returning to her car she found that she had locked her keys in the car. She was in a hurry to get home to her sick daughter.

She didn't know what to do, so she called her home and told the baby sitter what had happened and that she did not know what to do. The baby sitter told her that her daughter was getting worse.

She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."

The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car.

Then she looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this."

So she bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head.

The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?" But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful.

The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help. She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"

He said, "Sure". He walked over to the car, and in less than one minute the car was opened.

She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank you so much! You are a very nice man."

The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour."

The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud,
"Oh, Thank you God! You even sent me a professional! "

Reason why never visit a 5* Hotel

Question : " What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"
Answer: "tea please "

Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? Black or white ?"
Answer: "white"

Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ? "
Answer: "With milk "

Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"
Answer: "With cow milk please.

Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "

Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey? "
Answer: "With sugar"

Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"
Answer: "Cane sugar "

Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"
Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."

Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "
Answer: "Mineral water"

Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"
Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst

Cool one-liners

Enjoy following one line jokes! Keep visiting for more !

If you're too lazy to start anything, you may get a reputation for patience.

I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.

I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.

Never try to drown your troubles... Especially if he can swim.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you're thinking.

Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station.

By the time a man realizes that his father was usually right, he has a son who thinks he's usually wrong.

Teachers are those who help us in resolving problems which, without them, we wouldn't have.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

There are three sides to every argument: your side,my side and the right side.

An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

They say hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance.

Funny jokes for kids

Enjoy following 4 really funny children jokes


A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".

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A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing.
She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like.
"Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."


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One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

Short sardar jokes

Enjoy 2 -3 liner short sardar jokes


Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

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How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear

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What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand
grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.

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What do you do when a Sardar throws a
pin at you?
Run like crazy....he's got a hand
grenade in his mouth.

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How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

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What is the Sardar doing when he holds
his hands tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.

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Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on
Monday.

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Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.

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How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.

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What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear
to ear?
A wind tunnel.
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What do you see when you look into a
Sardar's eyes?
The back of his head.

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What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).

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What do you call a sardar who has only
one drink?
Just-one Singh.

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Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

Moral Lesson

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can
wait'". Kevin turned to his younger brother & said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"

Theories of cat behavior

LAW OF CAT INERTIA
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

LAW OF CAT MOTION
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

FIRST LAW OF CAT ENERGY CONSERVATION
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

LAW OF BAG/BOX OCCUPANCY
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

LAW OF FURNITURE REPLACEMENT
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

LAW OF CAT COMPOSITION
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-matter + It Doesn't Matter.

LAW OF CAT OBEDIENCE
As yet undiscovered.