Really funny jokes-Witness insists

With Betty on the witness stand the attorney opened his questioning. "Where were you the night of August 24th?"

"Objection! Irrelevant!" Cried the other lawyer.

"Oh, that's okay," said Betty from the stand. "I don't mind answering the question."

"I object!" the lawyer said again.

"No, really," said Betty. "I'll answer."

The judge ruled, "If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object."

So the attorney repeated the question: "Where were you the night of August 24th?"

"I don't know!"

Really funny jokes-First fight

Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister.
"Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a terrible fight!"
"Calm down, my child," said the minister, "It's not half as bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first fight!"
"I know, I know!" said Joanna. "But what am I going to do with the body?"

Clean jokes-Daughter & Son

Two mothers met for coffee one morning, and the conversation naturally turned to their kids.
"Well, Martina, how are your kids?", asks Jessica.
"To tell you the truth," says Martina, "my George has married a witch! She doesn't get out of bed until 11. She's out all day spending his money on Heaven knows what, and when he gets home, exhausted, does she have a nice hot dinner for him? NO! She makes him take her out to dinner at an expensive restaurant."
"Hmmm ... and how is your daughter?", Jessica asks.
"Ah!", says Martina. "Cathy has married a saint! He brings her breakfast in bed, he gives her enough money to buy all she needs, and in the evening he takes her out to dinner at a nice, fancy restaurant."

Humor jokes-Scratch

A young bride was scouring the aisles of the supermarket. Up and down each aisle she went, then started over again. The store manager noticed this and went over to her.
"Can I help you find something, miss?" he asked.
"It's Mrs.!", she said proudly, "I just got married."
"Congratulations, " said the manager. "What can I help you find?"
"Scratch," she replied.
"Scratch?" he asked, "Is that a new cleanser or something?"
"No silly," she replied brightly. "My husband told me that his mother made everything from scratch, so I need to find some!"

Really funny jokes-Sea Shells

A little old lady was selling sea shells on a street corner across from the beach one day. A well-dressed man passed by her. She grabbed his arm and asked, "How about some nice seashells?"
"No, thank you," the man replied.
Suddenly, the woman clutched her throat and fell to the pavement.
"What's wrong?" asked the man.
"I think this might be it for me," the old woman whispered. "Please buy some of my seashells."
Deeply touched, the man bought all her shells. He handed her the money. A moment later, she lay down on the sidewalk and her eyes slid peacefully shut.
The next day the man was walking down the same street and once again saw the woman vending her sea shells.
He walked up to a police officer. "I thought she passed away yesterday," the man said. "I was here. I bought all her shells just before it happened!"
The officer smiled knowingly. "Ah, you were conned, my friend," he replied. "You see, she sells seashells by the seizure."

Doctor jokes-Ringing

I remember one time I told my doctor I had a ringing in my ears.
His advice: 'Don't answer it.'

Sardar jokes-Hand Grenade

Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.