Funny jokes-Block the exits

During a bank robbery, the police chief told the sergeant to cover all the exits so that the robbers couldn't get away.
Later, the sergeant reports to the chief, "Sorry, sir, but they got away."
The chief, very angry, says, "I told you to cover all the exits!"
"I did," replied the sergeant, "but they got away through the entrance."

Short funny jokes-Doubt

If you are ever in doubt as to whether or not to kiss a pretty girl,
Always give her the benefit of the doubt.

Really funny jokes-Old Money

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.”
“I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. “The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37.”
“And that’s how you built an empire?” the boy asked.
“Nah,” the old man replied. “My wife’s father died and left us two million dollars.”

Short funny jokes-Planning for the future

Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys 2 cases of beer instead of one.

Doctor jokes-The treatment

A man walks into his doctor's office and puts a note on the table for the doctor to read. It said, "I can't talk! Help me!"
The doctor nodded sagely, and instructed the man to put his thumb on the table. The man thinks to himself that his thumb has nothing to do with his inability to talk, but he does as the doctor ordered.
The doctor quickly picked up a big book and whacks the man's thumb with it as hard as he could.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA! !!" the man yelled.
"Good, good," the doctor said. "Come back tomorrow and we'll work on the `B'."

Really funny jokes-Waiting at the Medical clinic

A man arrived at a walk-in medical clinic, promptly at opening time, only to find two other men outside, waiting.
The door was still locked.
He knew one of the men and they started talking. About five minutes later the receptionist came running across the parking lot, apologizing for being late.
The man turned to his friend and asked, "Are you first in line to see the doctor?"
"Yes," the other replied.
"Well, I guess I'm third then," he said.
"No," the second man said, "you're second."
"Second? What about you?"
"I'm the doctor."

Short funny jokes-Dentist

Q: Why did the king go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned!