Really funny jokes-Overloading

A man driving home late at night in his Volkswagen beetle car was stopped by by policemen on patrol.

The police asked the man to produce his car document.

When they could not fault the document, the next question to the man was: "My friend, do you realize that you committed a criminal offense by driving alone in this car at late night?"

The man became angry and responded: "How could you say that? God the father, the son and holy spirit, prophet Elijah and Angels Micheal and Gabriel are all with me in the Car."

The policeman replied: "You mean, all these people are in this small car? I charge you for overloading!"

Finance jokes-Stockbroker or fisherman?

The Walton's invited their new neighbors over to dinner. During dinner Mr.Walton was asked what he did for a living.

Eight years old Brian Walton jumped in and said, "Daddy is a fisherman!" To which Mrs.Walton replied, "Brian, why do say that. Your daddy is a stockbroker, not a fisherman."

"No mom. Everytime we visit dad at work and he hangs up the phone he laughs, rubs his hands together and says 'I just caught another fish'."

Funny jokes-Wanted!

* Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

* Wanted: Mother's helper - peasant working conditions.

Really funny jokes-Defining a Will

What's the definition of a will?

It's a dead giveaway.

Health jokes-Age is catching up

I know age is catching up with me when

- I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying.

- I'm very good at telling stories...over and over and over and over.

- I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's just my left leg.

- I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.

- I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

- I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

- I'm the life of the party... even when it lasts 'till 8pm.

- I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going.

Funny jokes-Christmas invitation

It was Christmas time and this woman invited all her family to her house to eat. So they gathered around the table and she asked her son to pray.

He said: "But I do not know what to say."

She said: "Say what I said this morning."

So he said: "Dear God, why did I invite all these people to my house?"

Really funny jokes-Almost got caught

The employees at the factory where Paddy worked soon discovered that every Tuesday afternoon the boss would always leave work early, not to return that day. So they all decided that if they all left early after him, they could have the rest of the day off, and the boss would be none the wiser.

So, the next Tuesday afternoon, after the boss had left, all of the employees went home. But when Paddy got home, he saw through his front window his boss making passionate love to his wife.

The following Tuesday, when everyone else was leaving the factory, Paddy kept right on working. One of his workmates came up to him: "Hey, Paddy, aren't you going home? The boss has already left for the day".

Says Paddy, "No way! Last week I almost got caught".