Sardar jokes-Parkinsons

Sardar Santa Singh was asked: "Given a choice, what would you choose: Parkinson's or Alzheimer's?"

Thinking for a moment, the sardar replied, "I would choose Parkinsons. It's better to spill half a peg of whiskey than to forget where you kept the bottle."

Philosophical question

My friend, Zane is a philosopher. I have always thought philosophers like Zane truly appreciate the profound nature of life's deep questions. As a result, people like Zane are still struggling with the same questions that have been asked for centuries. Thus, they are the objects of ridicule on the part of scientists, who have less patience with such lack of progress.

For example, Zane asked me the other day, "If a tree falls in a forest, and there is no one around to hear, does it make a sound?"

This question has been posed by philosophers since ages, and there is still no philosphical consensus as to what the answer should be.

But when a scientist is asked the same question, he'll go off for short while, apply for a grant or two, and come back saying, "Well, we've solved it for elm and birch, but we're still working on the general case"!

Criminal record

An Indian visitor, Rahul was stopped by customs at Shanghai airport in China and asked if he had a criminal record.

Rahul replied sarcastically, "Oh, I didn't realize you still have to have one to get in!"

Dreadful wrath

Old man Gary prays to god - "How can I escape that dreadful wrath of these old age wrinkles?"

A voice booms from the heavens: "Take off your glasses".

Strict daddy

Dean had a very hard day at office and when he returned home his five-year-old pestered him to play games. Finally it was bed time and Dean was real tired.

Dean said sternly to the boy: “Sonny, no more games. You change into your night suit, brush your teeth and go straight to bed.”

The little boy gave him a tight hug and whispered: “Dad, I learned about small kids in orphanages who don’t have their daddies.”

Dean was moved that the little kid appreciated having his father with him.

The little one again whispered: “Is it possible for you to go and be their dad?”

Short funny jokes-Snow caps

Jim: How do mountains bear the cold in December?

Tim : They keep warm with snow caps.

Mother's broom

On a pleasant evening, a small boy was playing in the backyard of his house with his mother’s broom. He pretended to be a witch flying on the broom. By the time he finished his play, it was quite dark.

Unable to locate the broom in its usual place, the boy’s mother asked the little one about it. The boy confessed that he had left it in the backyard. The mother asked him to fetch it immediately upon which the boy said it was quite dark in the backyard and he was scared to step out to get the broom.

The mother patted him kindly and said: “God is everywhere. He is out there too. So don’t be afraid and ask for his help.”

The boy went and opened the back door a crack and shouted: “Oh god, my mother says you are out there. Can you please bring me my mother’s broom please.”