Short funny jokes-The merger

"Marie, I read that out in Iowa, a woman with nine kids married a man with seven. Isn't that something?"
"Sure is," Marie responded. "That wasn't a marriage... it was a merger!"

Office jokes-Get back in there!

Working as a secretary at an international airport, my sister had an office adjacent to where security temporarily holds suspects.
One day security officers were questioning a man when they were suddenly called away on another emergency. To the horror of my sister and her colleagues, the man was left alone in the unlocked room. After a few mminutes, the door opened, and he began to walk out. Summoning up her courage, one of the secretaries barked, "Get back in there, and don't come out until you're told!"
The man scuttled back inside and slammed the door. When the security people returned, the woman reported what had happened.
Without a word, an officer walked into the room and released one very frightened telephone repairman.

Humor jokes-Grounds for divorce

A woman goes into her lawyers office requesting a divorce. He is taking all of her background information and asks her, "Do you have grounds for a divorce?"
To which she replies, "Well, we have three acres."
"No, ma'am. What I mean is, does he beat you up?" asks the attorney.
"No, I get up around 6:30 and he sleeps until 7:00," she responds.
Feeling a little frustrated the attorney asks, "Lady, tell me, do you have a grudge?"
Looking very confident she states, "No, we have a carport."
At this point the lawyer has lost his patience and asks, "Look, Lady. Why the heck do you want a divorce?"
"Because 'he' can't hold an intelligent conversation! "

Short humor jokes-copies of everything

The prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the attack on the Pentagon:
"I'm sorry to hear about the attack.It is a very big tragedy. But in case you are missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything."

Really funny jokes-Footprints

One day a man having conversation with god when his whole life flashed before his eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time.
He saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult periods of his life there were only one set of footprints.
He asked god "You said you will be with me throughout this journey, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of my life??"
To which god answered "Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you...you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times in your life, I was carrying you"
*******

Another day I was having a similar conversation with my Project Manager (PM) when my whole project flashed before my eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time.
I saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult times in the project there were only one set of footprints.
I asked my PM, "You said you will be with me throughout the project, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of the project??"
To which my PM answered, "Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you... You see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times I was "sitting on your head !!!"

Sardar jokes

Santa: My wife is still scared of water
Banta: how come?
Santa: yesterday when i went home, she was in the bath tub with the security guard!!
----------

Santa to his wife: darling, years ago u had a figure like coke bottle.
Jeeto: yes darling i still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml
now it's 1.5 ltr.

-----------
Nurse: congrats santa, you are a father.
Santa: don't tell my wife, i want to surprise her!

Kids jokes-active baby

When Mary was pregnant, her 5 year old, Billy, was utterly amazed, and a little bit disbelieving, that his sister was growing in his mom's tummy. So one day when the baby was especially active, she asked Billy to place his tiny hands on her tummy to feel the baby kick. But when he did, the baby was suddenly still. "Oh, Billy, she must have decided to take a nap," shrugged Mary.
"A nap?" Billy marveled. "You mean there's a bed in there too?"