Hilarious jokes-Angry Birds application

A man in Maryland says a flashlight on his iPhone helped save his life after he got lost during a hike. If you think that's cool, this morning the "Angry Birds" app on my iPhone helped save me from three awkward conversations in the elevator.

Clean jokes-Two brothers

Two brothers, Rob and Bob, found themselves a job on a ship.
Rob had really large eyes and Bob had huge ears.

The captain of the ship asked them, "What can you do?"

"Well, I can be a lookout," said Rob, the fellow with the large eyes.

"What will he do?" asked the captain.

"Well, he's my brother, Can't leave him alone. He'll come with me." replied Rob

The captain agreed and said, "All right you can be lookout and take him with you to the crow's nest and keep him out of my face!"

They had been at sea for a fortnight when the whistle from the crow's nest sounded in the wheelhouse!
"Ship bearing port 10."

The captain looked at the radar, not an echo on the scope. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"Positive," replied Rob, "and what's more, its Chinese."

"How do you know that?" the captain asked.

Rob replied, "My brother Bob can hear them talking!"

Really funny jokes-Confronted

Two deliverymen were taking a large refrigerator to a local priest's home. With difficulty they had managed to get the fridge onto the porch, but struggled for over 20 minutes to make the 90-degree turn through the narrow door.

The priest, seeing their difficulty, asked what they usually did when confronted with such a situation.

Rubbing some badly skinned knuckles, one deliveryman replied, "Well, Father, at this point we usually start cursing."

"Well, gentlemen," the priest replied, "allow me time to move out of earshot so you can continue your work."

Short funny jokes-Old divorced couple

A 93-year-old man filed for divorce from his 90-year-old wife, making them one of the world's oldest divorced couple. 

The divorce lawyer found it strange fighting for the couple's kids to get custody of the old couple.

Funny jokes-Reasons for Divorce

Reasons for Divorce

A man in Tarritville, Connecticut, filed for divorce because his wife left him a note on the refrigerator that read: "I have gone to the bridge club. There'll be a recipe for your dinner at 7 o'clock on Channel 2."

A deaf man in Bennettsville, South Carolina filed for divorce because his wife "was always nagging him in sign language."

A woman in Canon City, Colorado, divorced her husband because he forced her to "duck under the dashboard whenever they drove past his girlfriend's house."

A woman in Hardwick, Georgia, divorced her husband on the grounds that he "stayed home too much and was much too affectionate."

A man in Hazard, Kentucky, divorced his wife because she "beat him whenever he removed onions from his hamburger without asking for permission."

Kids jokes-Turn seven

I asked my neighbor's kid when he would turn seven.

Pat came the reply, "When I'm tired of being six."

Really funny jokes-Crime scene

Two cops rush to a crime scene behind a grocery store. The homicide detective is already there.

"What happened?" asks the first cop.

"Male, about thirty, covered in Raisin Bran and dead as a doornail."

"Oh my God," says the second officer. "Didn't we have one covered in Frosted Flakes yesterday? And Captain Crunch last week?"

"You're right. I'm afraid," said the detective as he took a drag from his cigarette, "this is the work of a cereal killer."