Really funny jokes-"Awful 4-letter Words"

A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon.
When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
'Well', said her mother, 'so how was the honeymoon?'
'Oh mama', she replied, 'The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic'.Suddenly she burst out crying.
'But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language -- things I'd never heard before! I mean all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to take me home! PLEASE MAMA!'
'Sarah, Sarah', her mother said, 'calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful?
WHAT 4-letter words?'
Sobbing, the bride said, 'Oh, Mama..., he used words like: dust, wash, iron, and cook...'

Really funny jokes-Brief survey

Bonnie heard the telephone ring upstairs. Tiredly, she ran back up the stairs only to hear a solicitor on the other end. "Hello, is this Bonnie Goldman?"
"Yes."
"We are calling people in your area and would like to know if you would help us by participating in a brief survey."
Without missing a beat, she told them, "I'm very busy right now. You will have to survey your own briefs."

Funny jokes-Deodorant

Dara walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for a bottom deodorant. "Sorry, we don't sell bottom deodorant" the pharmacist replies, struggling to keep from laughing.

"But I always buy it here", Dara says. "I bought one last month".

Thinking quickly, the pharmacist suggests, "I don't know what you bought before, may be you can bring in the empty container next time".

"Sure", Dara replies. "I'll bring it with me tomorrow"

The next day, Dara walks into the shop again and hands the pharmacist an almost empty deodorant stick.

"This is just a normal deodorant", the pharmacist tells Dara, "You use it under your arms"..

"No, it is not", Dara answers, "it says so here: To apply, push up bottom".

Really funny jokes-Still love her

A man is sitting on his front stoop staring at the ground when his neighbor strolls over. The neighbor tries to start a conversation several times, but the older man barely responds. Finally, the neighbor asks what the problem is.
"Well," the man says, "I ran afoul of one of those questions women ask. Now I'm in the doghouse."
"What kind of question?" the neighbor asks.
"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she was old, fat and ugly."
"That's easy," says the neighbor. "You just say, 'Of course I will.'"
"Yeah," says the other man, "that's what I MEANT to say. But what came OUT was, 'Of course I do.'"

Short humor jokes-Bobbing

Michael Jackson tried killing himself Wednesday morning by jumping off his boat . The police found him last night bobbing up and down on a small buoy.

Kids jokes-How to make babies

When the second grader arrived home from school, she excitedly ran up to her mom and said, "Guess what we learned today, mommy? How to make babies."
Her mother was more than surprised, but did her best to remain calm. She knew that this day would come, but she had hoped it wouldn't have been so soon. "How interesting dear," her mother said. "How do you make babies?"
"It's really simple," replied the little girl. "All you have to do is change the 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

Funny jokes-Alaskan and Texan

An Alaskan and a Texan met in New York and decided to do the town together. After many bars they found themselves walking across Brooklyn Bridge. They decided to stop and relieve themselves. As they were standing there adding to the pollution, the Texan turned to the Alaskan and said, "Water's cold!" The Alaskan replied, "Deep too."