Very short funny jokes - Credit card

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

Very funny joke - Jurassic Park

Sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat.

His friend asks him "What Sardarji? Are you afraid of the cinema?"

Sardarji replies "I am an intelligent man, I know it is a movie, but does that animal know?"

Really funny jokes-Noise in the engine

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.
A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot."

Barack Obama Jokes - TV news Acronyms

NBC: New Barack Channel

ABC: Another Barack Channel

MSNBC: My Seriously New Barack Channel

CBS: Continuous Barack Show

FOX: Flagrant Obama Xenophobes

Short funny jokes-Life's savings

Patient: I have spent 80% of my life's savings on doctors.
Doctor : Why didn't you come to me earlier?

Funny Hilarious Joke - Hawaii

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, “Lord, grant me one wish.”

Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.”

The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want to.”

The Lord said, “Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, one that would honor and glorify me.”

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, “Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent
treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say ‘nothing’, and how I can make a woman truly happy.”

After a few minutes God said, “You want two lanes or four on that bridge?”

Hillbilly jokes-Hammering

Q: Why did the hillbilly put her finger over the nail she was hammering?

A: The noise gave her a headache!