Redneck Sayings
1. "Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."
2. "It’s been hotter’n a goat’s butt in a pepper patch."
3. "Don’t pee down my back and tell me it’s raining."
4. "This is gooder’n grits."
Thứ Sáu, 4 tháng 3, 2011
Funny jokes-Smell out of the fish
God created Adam and Eve and left them alone to get to know each other. After a week He came back. "How's it going Adam?" He asked.
"Great!" says Adam.
"Eve's just down at the river, cleaning herself up a bit - we've been at it all week."
God looked up at the sky in dismay and exclaimed, "Hell! Now I'll never get the smell out of the fish."
"Great!" says Adam.
"Eve's just down at the river, cleaning herself up a bit - we've been at it all week."
God looked up at the sky in dismay and exclaimed, "Hell! Now I'll never get the smell out of the fish."
Thứ Năm, 3 tháng 3, 2011
Yo Mama jokes-So funky
Yo mama's drawers are so funky, the roaches check in but they don't check out.
Thứ Tư, 2 tháng 3, 2011
Hilarious jokes-Purifying water
Science exam
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Funny jokes-You are really drinking too much Coffee when
You are really drinking too much Coffee when
*You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
*You can jump-start your car without cables.
*All your kids are named "Joe".
*You don't need a hammer to pound in nails.
*Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low".
*You don't sweat, you percolate.
*You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
*Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
*People get dizzy just watching you.
*When you find a penny, you say, "Find a penny, pick it up. Sixty-three more, I'll have a cup".
*The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
*Starbucks own the mortgage on your house.
*You're so wired, you pick up AM radio.
*People can test their batteries in your ears.
*Instant coffee takes too long.
*You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
*You can jump-start your car without cables.
*All your kids are named "Joe".
*You don't need a hammer to pound in nails.
*Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low".
*You don't sweat, you percolate.
*You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
*Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
*People get dizzy just watching you.
*When you find a penny, you say, "Find a penny, pick it up. Sixty-three more, I'll have a cup".
*The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
*Starbucks own the mortgage on your house.
*You're so wired, you pick up AM radio.
*People can test their batteries in your ears.
*Instant coffee takes too long.
Thứ Ba, 1 tháng 3, 2011
Mr. Bean jokes-Five plus four
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!
Mr. Bean: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!
Really funny jokes-Headstone
After his wife died, the uncle of one of my friends decided to plan ahead and order a grave-site marker for himself. A week or so later, he came home to find a message on his answering machine. It was from a young woman at the company where he’d placed his order.
“I don’t know if it’s good news or bad,” she said, “but your headstone is ready.”
“I don’t know if it’s good news or bad,” she said, “but your headstone is ready.”
Đăng ký:
Bài đăng (Atom)