Funny jokes-The replacement

Harry who played trombone in the opera was in a fix. He had committed himself to another act at his sister's party on the same day he had to play in the opera. He tried hard but could not find a replacement. Finally he approached his household help and convinced him to do the replacement. "You can take my other trombone. Just watch what the guy next to you is doing and it would be all right".

Next morning he asked the household help how it went.

"It was a Catastrophe. Your colleague also sent his household help to replace him".

Hilarious jokes-Toss a coin

Peter had planned on watching the football game with his friend Harry.

Peter arrived late and the game had already started. Harry asked him, "What kept you?"

Peter replied, "I could not make up my mind between going to church and going to the football game. So I tossed a coin."

"So what took you so long?" asked Harry.

Peter answered,"I had to toss it 40 times."

Short funny jokes-Crate of ducks

Bill: What is a crate of ducks known as?

Jill : It would be a box of quackers!

Kids jokes-Natural history lesson

The teacher was discussing natural history with her class of eight-year old kids.

She began by saying, "Do you know Worker ants can carry food particles that are five times their own weight. What is to be learnt from this?"

A kid raised his hand and replied: "They don't have a union."

Really funny jokes-Divorce is easy

Sam : You know what, it's really easy to get a divorce in the Middle East. A man is just required to say "I divorce you" to his wife 3 times and it's done!

Jack : It's even easier in the US. All a man has to say is "Yeah, that dress makes your butt look fat" once.

Pun-Catch up

I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

Bank robbery-Funny joke

There was a bank robbery and the Chief of Police ordered the sergeant to cover all exit points so that none of the robbers could get away.

When the Sergent reported to the Chief that all the robbers had escaped, the Chief went mad with anger & shouted, "Didn't I tell you to cover all the exit points??"

"I did," defended the sergeant, "but they managed to escape through the entrance."